WishfulThinking
by Judge-Douglas-Mason
Summary: Jim's thoughts on Sara and their relationship
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. Wish they were but they're not. Que Sera Sera XxxxxxxxxxxxX 

(Looking down at Sara as she sleeps)

I sometimes wonder what she sees in me. I mean, look at me. I'm a middle aged man with a propensity for being grumpy and sarcastic. I'm losing my hair and my physical form isn't what it used to be. Twenty years ago I was still short and slightly balding, but I was in much better shape……….I was defined. Now, I've got a bit of a paunch, my bones creak at the most inopportune of moments and my UND is worse than it ever was.

Yet, I suppose she must find some socially and personally redeeming qualities in me, or else why would she choose to share herself and her life with me? I ask myself this question nearly on a daily basis; never coming up with a satisfying answer.

But look at her. She's young, beautiful, brilliant and sexy as hell. She hasn't got any hair growing in inconvenient places,  
she isn't covered in freckles and she sure as hell doesn't have to deal with middle age spread.

All those years ago, when she first came to us………to me, I noticed her straight away. She was tall, confident and full of spit and spirit. I suppose that's what I love so much about her; her spirit. She was the only woman or person, for that matter, that I'd ever seen leave a man speechless. That man was Gil Grissom. I swear, the way they'd talk, sometimes they seemed as close to an old married couple as one could get without actually being old or married. Sometimes I'd just stand back while they had a their row and think to myself, "Damn, girl's got spirit." And as I'd watch her walk away from him, he'd just stand there, mouth hanging open like a large mouth Bass and scratching his head. It was at that moment I decided that I had to get to know her.

You can imagine my surprise when, years later, after finally mustered up the courage, I asked her out and she accepted. I was dumbstruck. When I asked her it was on a whim, not really expecting her to accept. It was kind of like asking a question you think you already know the answer to, but come to find out you're wrong. It was like I'd been hit in the head with a board.  
I didn't know what to say after that. I'd asked, she'd said yes and from that point I just sort of stood there until she responded with setting the date, time and place we'd be going. I was glad for this but after hearing her "Yes" my mind more or less went blank. I think that was truly the first time ion my life when I was physically incapable of speech.

(Sara begins to stir and Jim heads off to the bathroom for a shower. Closing the door behind himself and standing in front of the sink, his hands braced on either side, staring at his reflection in the medicine chest mirror.)

Look at me. My skin is sagging, I've got crow's feet and wattle that just won't go away. I've tried head and neck exercises and even dipped into some of Sara's firming cream, but much to no avail. I suppose I could have some liposuction done, but that might be too drastic and there would be too many questions from the bruising and scar from the insertion. Then, of course, there's my nose. I've never quite been pleased with it. Its kind of large, bulbous and slightly irregular. But I guess that's what makes me, me. Those slight and not so slight imperfections are what make us unique.

(Noticing his reflection in the full length mirror on back of the bathroom door)

Then, of course, there's my butt. She says she likes it, but I think she's just trying to boost my ego. I try to work out as often as possible, I swear, but the gym might as well be in Botswana for all the times I've actually gone. As dissatisfied as I am with my appearance, Sara seems to like me all the same. She says she likes my arms in short sleeved shirts and my butt when I wear jeans. However, we disagree when it comes to my best physical trait. I think its my legs……….definition coming from all the walking around I do. She says its my eyes and the way they light up when I smile. I suppose we'll have to agree to disagree on that matter. One thing is for sure, my love handles have got to go. I don't care how much she says she likes them, they're mine and I want rid of them. They appeared around the same time that my hair began to recede, and that was in my early-mid twenties.

(Looks down at his watch and realizes he's going to be late. Jim jumps in the shower and hoses himself off. When he finishes he quietly dresses and periodically looks over at the still sleeping Sara)

Its too hot for denim today and too hot for slacks. I think I'll go with a nice pair of shorts and t-shirt. This way I can have my legs and she can have my arms. My arms DO look good, no doubt, but the weather is dictating my manner of dress, not my ego or what I think Sara would like me best in.

(Having dressed and climbed into his car, Jim drove to Fitzsimmon's jewelers and arrived just as they opened the doors.  
Crossing the threshold, he made straight for the farthest display case and peered through the glass at his quarry)

She'll love it. She'll love it even more because I remembered our anniversary. I know she thinks that I've forgotten, but I haven't. I've even got it programmed into my cell phone so I wouldn't forget. Its even on my lap top, so when I sign on I get an instant reminder. My memory isn't as good as it used to be, but there are ways around that these days. These days we have PDA's, programmable cell phones, computers and other means to "remember" the most important of things, and believe you, me…………..this is important.

Its kind of on the pricey side, but there's nothing too good for my Sara. In the time we've been together she's opened my eyes and my soul. After my ex-wife, I thought I could never love again; Sara changed that. She loved me with her whole being and never held back an ounce She taught me not to be afraid of my feelings because they would most assuredly be returned. Before her, I was merely existing, but now, with her in my life……………I'm living. And to live is a truly beautiful thing. I remember the morning after we first made love. She was still asleep when I awoke and when I stepped onto the back porch, looking to the sky, everything seemed brighter, more defined; crisp. It was like I'd been given a new lease on life and I'd be damned if I were to turn it away or make light of it. I remember actually listening to the birds that morning and as cheesy as it may sound, it almost seemed as though they were singing for me. Their little chirps and twitters were like auditory gold. I just stood there, leaning on the rail and watched the life all around me. I watched the squirrels. I watched the neighbour's cat chasing said squirrel and the neighbour on the other side of my house, I watched his dog chasing a butterfly around the sideyard. When I came back inside and had my morning coffee, even that tasted richer……….better.  
Everything had changed. I attributed it to Sara and the light which she showed me. It was like having a bit of her soul with me everywhere I went.

And now, looking through the glass of this case that holds, within, the jewel that I intend on presenting her with as a token of my love, affection and devotion. I know she's not one for trinkets and such, but I've shown her, physically, how much I love her, but now I want her to have a piece of me with her always…..to remind her of me whenever she looks on it. So, I have a bit of her with me everywhere I go and now she'll have a bit of me wherever she travels.

We're set to go on holiday in two day's time and its on this holiday that I plan to give her this gift.

(Jim purchases said piece of jewelry and returns home to find Sara still asleep. He undresses and climbs back into bed,  
spooning up behind her)

God, she's so warm and comfortable and if it weren't for the fact that we have to go in tonight, I'd stay with her all day, just holding her. It feels so good just to wrap my arms around her and hold her to me. The sounds she makes as I draw her to me and take one of her breasts in my hand and squeeze it ever so slightly. As she backs into me, her rear end nestling right against my manhood eliciting a predictable response from my body. I know she's asleep, though and as much as I'd love to just take her in my arms and make mad, passionate love to her, she had a hard shift last night and I know she needs her sleep. Besides, there's always time for THAT, later.

But for now, I'm content to lay here, with my love in my arms and rest a while until she wakes.


	2. Chapter 2

-  
(Standing by the double doors, pacing and looking down at my watch every few seconds) 

These last two days have flown by with the speed of Mercury. Our bags are packed and when the bell goes off, so to speak,  
we're out of here. Sara is finishing up the last bit of her most recent case, which she closed in near record time. I think Grissom gave her the easy one because he knew she was going away for a few days. I'm actually surprised that he's not having any jealousy problems with Sara and my relationship. We kept things quite in the beginning, in part, because we weren't sure how he'd react, but I must say that I'm impressed.

(Looking down the hall and seeing Sara approaching)

Good, she's ready and we can finally leave………and she looks ravishing. Granted she's wearing faded jeans and a pleasingly fitting crop top that just barely shows her navel up front and little tattoo on the small of her back. Before we started dating, I figured she had a tattoo somewhere, and I took every opportunity to try and figure out where it was, but it wasn't until we'd "hooked up" that I saw it, and it was beautiful. However, a chipmunk would have been the last of my guesses on her choice of ink. Maybe a rabbit would have been more appropriate, or badger or other such furry woodland creature. Oh, God…….my evil mind. If she knew what I was thinking right now, thinking about her tattoo, she'd choke the living shit out of me. Regardless of her teeth, which she hates and I love, I love her all the same.

(Driving north on US 95, Sara sleeps as Jim drives and occasionally looks over at her, marveling in her beauty and the Angelic appearance she exhibits while she sleeps)

She's so beautiful, especially when she sleeps. Her head tilted back, her mouth slightly open and this completely peaceful look on her face. She's my little Angel. I know it sounds like I'm talking about a little kid, but its true, she does look like an Angel when she sleeps. I wonder what she's dreaming about. Is she dreaming about us? Is she dreaming about work or is she having that penguin dream again. You see, Sara has this recurring dream in which she's surrounded by penguins that are talking to her. She can never really remember what they're saying, but when she wakes from one of those dreams she's almost always in an off sort of mood. She said they're unsettling because she can't make heads or tails of them. She doesn't like when she can't wrap her mind around something, well, she gets frustrated. I know she likes to be in control of things, however she's far from a power monger. Me, when I have weird dreams I just spend the day wondering what the hell was going on and trying to remember as much as I can, trying to figure things out. Its almost like a game, like a puzzle of sorts……………figure me out, if you will. The thing that bothers me is when, no matter how hard I try, I can't get the dream out of my mind. Kind of like when you get a song stuck in your head and its there all day long and you can't get rid of it. I had that problem the other day. I woke up and the song "Broken" by Amy Lee and Seether. All friggin' day I had that song in my head and couldn't get it out. Not that it's a bad song, quite the contrary, but hearing that song ALL DAY LONG is a bit much.

She's shifting around now and mumbling something incoherently. It sounds like some foreign language, but to the best of my knowledge Sara doesn't speak any language other than English. I was serious when I said that I sleep with a tape recorder next to my bed in case I dream anything useful and as I root around in my pack on the floor behind my seat, I feel it and switch it on. I set it on the centre console and let it run while she continued to mumble. Maybe I could play it for her later and she can explain.

But as I look at her, in her most of serene of moments, I think back to the very first time I saw her sleeping. It was shortly after she came to Vegas and she'd been on a particularly hard shift, and even though she swore she was just resting her eyes, she was out like a light. I remember it was kind of chilly, so I took off my suit jacket and draped it over her upper body, which was tight and balled up like she was freezing or something. Right after I put the jacket over her she loosened up and shifted, opening her eyes only slightly, seeing me, giving me a sleep filled smile and drifted back to sleep. She looked so sweet right then. That was also the very first picture of her that I took, as after the smile I ran out to my car and grabbed my cell phone and snapped a couple of pics of her.

As I sat in my office, back at the precinct, I looked at the phone photos and smiled. I transferred them to my lap top and then had them blown up at the local Workman's. I sent her a copy of each photo the following day and she laughed, saying she vaguely remembered me being there and giving her the jacket. Odd, though. She didn't seem to care one way or the other that I had pictures of her sleeping. Hell, for all I know she's got pictures of me napping in my office. Sometimes I close the door, and stretch out on my back, behind my desk. Sometimes it helps my back for me to do it that way. Flat on my back with my arms above my head……….stretching everything. Its amazing how refreshing a short nap can be, especially when you're not all stiff and your joints aren't all tight……its great.

(After a long drive, Jim and Sara arrive at the rented cabin in Tahoe. She's still asleep so Ijim checksthem in and carriestheir bags inside their cabin. Returning to the car,he gently strokes her face until she wakes. Her eyes full of sleep, she smiles that same sort of smile from way back when andhis heart melts)

I know she needed the sleep as the last few nights, or mornings, depending on how you look at it, I've been bad and kept her AWAKE. However, since we're here and everything is inside and she's slept for a good few hours she'll be up all night which means I'll be up all night. Serves me right, I suppose.


	3. Chapter 3

The inside of the cabin is simply beautiful as I look around and take everything in. Its all perfect; everything from the well laid out living area with large hearth and good sized tellie, two-butt kitchen, fully stocked with everything, save for food and the loft bedroom with king sized bed and adjoining bathroom. Sara is still a bit sleepy and slowly wobbles her way from the car to the front porch, standing in the doorway, her hands braced on the jamb to hold herself from falling over. Slowly, she stepped inside and did a cursory sweep, as was custom whenever she stepped into an unfamiliar space. She stands still, but its her eyes that are moving. As she looks from the kitchen to the living area and up at the loft, she smiles. Seeing the broad grin on her face makes my heart warm; apparently, I've done good. 

It is still light outside; a little after noon-ish, and having unpacked our bags and stowed everything in it's proper place, we set out for the local market and some food to last us for our trip. We found a small market and purchased our vittles and then returned to our cabin. As she sits on the couch I put the food away and when I had finished I joined her, placing my hand on her knee. I turn to her and asked what she wants to do, as there was still plenty of daylight to burn. Looking out, towards the front door, she suggests a walk in the woods.

(She gets up and goes upstairs for her boots and comes back down with mine)

We lace up our boots and set out. There's what looks like a well traveled path not too far from the front porch and she heads over towards it with me behind her, trying to catch up to her. We've been hiking for about an hour when we come to an outcropping of rocks that look out over and above the lake. We sit down for a little bit and simply gaze out onto the water and the activity on the surface. After a few minutes she lays down and stares up at the trees that are shading us from the heat of the daytime sunlight. There's a nice breeze that blows over us as we both look up and chat about "Us" and our relationship in regards to what we want out of what we've got going on between us.

For me, I want something mutually beneficial. I also want a family. I've got the house with the white picket fence but I also want a wife or partner that wants children. Yeah, I know I may be a bit old for raising children, but this time I think I'm ready. I wasn't ready for Ellie and through my own mistakes...well, let's just say that her faults as a daughter are my failings as a father. I was never really there and even when I was it was almost like I wasn't. Oftentimes I'd come home from work and she'd already be in bed and by the time she'd wake up I'd be on my way out the door, off to another day of work. On the weekends she'd be off with her friends and since my wife didn't seem to want me around all that much, I occupied my time fishing or spending time in the workshop tinkering with the lawn mower or something of that nature.

As for Sara, I'm not exactly sure. We've talked about children but she doesn't seem all that eager. Maybe it has something to do with her childhood, which didn't go so well. I know her mother killed her father and that Sara went into foster care, but apart from that I really don't know much. Maybe she's afraid she'll turn out to be like her parents...short tempered and easily frustrated, prone to voice raising and such. But as I look at her now, her eyes closed and her arm across her forehead, I can only see happy times. I see she and I sitting on our front porch watching our children playing in the front yard. I see family dinners, seated around the dining room table talking about how everyone's day went. I see myself standing in the doorway to a bedroom watching our child or children sleeping soundly. I also see our children graduating High School and going off to college and graduating from their chosen university. I see myself bouncing our grandchildren on my knee and playing hide and seek throughout the house. I see Sara and I in our twilight years, mine coming well before hers, still in love and feisty as ever, sort of like Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau in Grumpy Old Men. Whenever I see those films I always envision Sara and myself like those two. I don't know why, but I always have. But sadness kicks in when I think about when I pass away, most assuredly before her, and how it will effect her. After all, I'm in my early fifties and she's in her mid-thirties. I wonder how she'll cope and how our extended family will deal. Will I be missed? Will I be mourned or will I be like Grissom; there one day and gone the next with no parting words or ceremony. I like to think that I'll be missed. I like to think that we'll still be in touch with the gang (Nick, Greg, Warrick, etc). After all, they're like family...slightly dysfunctional, but family all the same. Would any of them be godparent to any of our children? I like to think some of them would. But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, here. Its only been a few minutes and in that time I've envisioned our life, our golden years and my passing. All in the blink of an eye, one might say.

I snap out of my wonderings to see that Sara has fallen back asleep and I've got to pee. I slowly and quietly get up and walk back into the woods a bit to relieve myself. I'm leaning against a tree when I hear a rustling somewhere off in the distance. Maybe it's a squirrel or something like that. I zip up and look around to see, in the distance, a dog of some sort. Crouching down, I call to it and it comes bounding through the brush and wags it's tail wildly as I scratch it behind the ears and on it's hindquarters. I check the neck for a collar but find nothing. Looking some more, I discover it's a male. He's awfully tame for a mountain dog and can't be all that old; maybe a year or so. Maybe he's run off from somewhere. Maybe he's gone missing from his owner. Giving him one last pat on the side, I turn to go back to Sara and the dog follows. I'm not bothered by him; he's probably glad for the human interaction. As I sit down beside the still sleeping Sara, my new friend lays down beside me and looks out over the lake, same as me.

Its been about two hours since my new friend and I have returned to the rocks and Sara is beginning to stir. Hearing this, the dog moves over to her and begins to sniff her, then lick her face. Startled, she sits bolt upright and turns to me, a quizzical look on her face. I explain that I found him in the woods and he'd followed me back. I'm a little hungry so we both get up and head back to the cabin, followed by the dog. Sara says she'll handle lunch while I go to the lodge and see about the dog. As I go inside the dog lays down on the porch as I speak with the manager. To my surprise no one has reported a missing dog and that actually management has been caring for and feeding him for several weeks. I ask if take him with us when we leave and the hostess seems amenable to the idea. I promise to put up a sign stating that the dog has been found and list my contact number in case anyone comes looking, but she says she doubts anyone will come looking, as if they were, they would have done so by now.

Back at the cabin, Sara has made some sandwiches and a nice salad to go with them and as we sit on the front porch eating our lunch the dog looks up at me. I realize that we've no food suitable for a dog and when I'm done with my lunch I hop in the car and go to the market for some wet food and kibble. By the time I return the dog is still on the front porch and when I open the door to allow him in he refuses, apparently content to stay on the porch. I go in and mix him up something to eat and set the bowl in front of him along with a bowl of water. I'm a bit surprised when he ignores the food but figure he'll get to it in his own time.

Inside, I join Sara on the couch and explain my decision to take the dog home with us. She doesn't seem opposed to the idea and we bounce names off of each other. She seems to favour Rex, due to his stocky build and resemblance to a Rottweiler, but I'm kind of partial to Bounder, given the way he came bouncing through the woods when I first saw him. I'm kind of surprised that she isn't putting up any sort of fight, but thank God for small favors.

As the day passes from afternoon into nighttime I open the screen door and try to get the dog in for the night but as was the case before, he seems quite comfortable on the porch so I don't fight him. I make sure he's got food and water before closing up for the night and settling in on the couch for some cable programming. We find Reservoir Dogs and decide on watching that.

The movie is over and as I look over at Sara, she's asleep. Looking at my watch I see that its around 23:00hrs, and not wanting to wake her, I pull the throw from the back of the couch and cover her as she slumps over onto her side, mumbling something incoherently. I check the porch one last time and see our new charge asleep at the top of the stairs. Smiling, I climb the stairs to the loft bedroom and strip down to my shorts, but not before brushing my teeth. Climbing under the covers, I get sort of feeling of loneliness. Lonely because Sara is downstairs and I'm up here. I know she'll wake in the night and come up here but I want here, now. I guess I'll just satisfy myself with the fact that she's here in Tahoe with me instead of back in Vegas alone. Its odd, really. Even when we're at work and she's at the lab and I'm at the precinct, minutes away from her, I feel a bit empty...incomplete. I don't know if this is a good thing or bad. I mean, is it possible to love someone so much, with your entire heart and soul, that even when they're minutes away it may as well be hundreds of miles? Is it possible to love someone so much that you want to spend every waking moment with them, never tiring of their company? I think it is. At least that's the way I feel. Like, I know she's only about thirty feet away in her dream state, but like I said, she may as well be miles away. I wonder if I smother her too much or at all. Am I too clingy? Do I NEED her too much? Do I feel like I'm hollow when she's not around? I think I do. All I know is that I've never loved anyone like I love her. When I see her my palm sweat, my heart races and I'm glad that she's just standing there, regardless of what she's doing, whether she's pouring over evidence or just standing over the coffee maker in the break room waiting for it to stop dripping so she can have her jet fuel and charge up for the coming shift.

Do I sound sad? Do I sound pathetic? Do I sound whipped? I don't know. All I know is that I'd rather live one week with her than a lifetime without her. Then its decided...I'll propose tomorrow.

Wish me luck.


	4. Chapter 4

I was right. Around 03:00hrs Sara got up and joined me in bed up here and now as I watch her sleeping I'm even more certain that what we have is a once in a lifetime thing and I'd be an ass to pass it up. I have doubts,anyone would, but I think things will turn out for the best. I love her, there's no doubt in my mind about that and I know she loves me...but enough to marry me? Of that, I'm not sure. I suppose there's no better way to find out than to ask; but how...and when? Should I make a magnificent feast and then pop the question or should we go for a romantic walk on the lake and ask her then? There are so many questions and "what ifs" that I've got in my head right now its not even funny. Would she decline my proposal? If she did, how would our relationship be after that or would we even have the same sort of relationship? I don't want to turn into a Grissom type person. That's the last thing she needs is for another Grissom in her life. Maybe I should just leave the ring out and let her find it, let her think about it on her own and approach me later...I think that's what I'll do. I'll leave it in my bag, in clear view so she can't help but see it. 

(Jim gets out of bed and goes for a shower then dresses and goes downstairs to start the coffee. The ring sets on top of his copy of The Shipping News which is in his bag that he's left unzipped and wide open)

Outside on the porch I see our new friend is still here; eating the remains of his supper. I sit in one of the chairs and wait while I drink my coffee and watch the forest, teaming with activity. A family of deer walk by, followed shortly thereafter by a fox. Its been about an hour and a half and I can hear movement inside; I guess Sara is getting up. Now its only a matter of time.

(Minutes pass by and Jim hears a loud thud. He jumps up and runs inside to find Sara on the floor of the loft, passed out)

Well, shit. This is great. She definitely found the ring. Its still in her hand as she lays on the floor. Carefully, I pick her head up and place it in my lap, stroking her cheek and running my fingers through her hair till she comes to. After a few second her eyes flutter open and her pupils are wider than I've ever seen them. She looks disoriented a bit and I try my best soothing voice to help her compose herself. She doesn't move, but just looks up at me and smiles, setting the boxed ring on the floor. I ask her if she's ok and she just smiles again. Is this a good sign or is she just do out of it that to smile is all she can do? I won't ask her about the ring, I'll let her mention it.

After a few minutes on the floor, she gets up and calmly picks up the clothing she'd dropped when she fainted. Her shower is longer than usual, maybe she's thinking things over. I dare not go into the bathroom, though. Last time I went in when she was in the shower she was high-fiving herself and it was a most awkward moment. Don't get me wrong, our sex life is great, but I guess sometimes she just needs some "alone" time. In the beginning it was kind of painful. We'd have sex and make love day and night and after the first week I found it difficult to walk at times. Before Sara it had been some time since I'd been with anyone, so it took a bit of getting used to, but now things have settled down a bit. We make love three or four times a week...sometimes, every day for a week and then a two or three day break. She's great in bed...very imaginative and resourceful. I remember one time we were caught in the parking lot at the lab and it was poring down rain. We were about an hour early and she turned to me and suggested we rock the Brass mobile to pass some time. We climbed in the back seat and, I swear, she rode me like there was no tomorrow. Thank God no one spotted us...that would have taken some explaining. But as it was, no one saw us, or maybe they did but they're keeping their mouths shut. I swear, before that night I never knew you could use a seat belt like that, but now I have a healthier respect for automotive restraints.

As I make breakfast, I leave the front door open in case our new friend decides he wants in, but he seems happy on the porch, so I refill his food and water and go back to making breakfast. Half an hour later she comes downstairs and heads right for the java and sits on the front porch, looking out at the tree line. By the looks of things, I can tell she's thinking hard about something. As I step out and stand next to her, I hand her a plate with a veggie omelet and buttered toast for which she promptly thanks me.

I'm not much of a breakfast eater, so I go back upstairs to think in private. Seated on the edge of the bed I can see her bag is open and there's a letter with my name on it. I'm curious as to what it says but given my luck I'd pick it up and read it and Sara would come in and catch me. I can hear her washing her dishes downstairs and she calls up to me that she's going for a walk and that she'll be back in a bit. I get up and see her walk into the woods followed by the dog and as soon as she's out of sight I rush over to her bag and snatch up the envelope. Its sealed, but there are ways around that. I run downstairs and boil a pot of water to steam the flap open. Once that's done I can read the letter. Holding it in my hands, I'm shocked.

"Dear Jim. I know we've grown close these past months and I've been thinking that I'd like to take the next logical step. I think I know how you feel; I know you love me and I love you like no other. What I want out of life is a family and a partner or husband to share myself with. I hope this doesn't scare you off. I know you haven't had the best of luck in the love department, neither have I, but together, I think we're better and stronger than we are apart. I hope you meditate on my words and come to a decision that will benefit us both. I love you, Jim. I don't see that changing anytime in the future. I love you enough to spend the rest of my life with you and I hope you feel the same. Please think about it. Love Always, Sara."

My God, its like she was reading my mind. This must be why she passed out when she saw the ring. This is a good sign. I quickly replace the letter and reseal the envelope then place it back in her bag.

Downstairs I take an inventory of our food stuffs and make a mental list as to what I'll need for supper. I'll leave a note on the kitchen counter telling her that I've gone to market for stuff and that I'll be back soon.

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

Wandering the aisles I find what I need for a magnificent feast and on my way back to the cabin I stop by a florist and pick up some flowers. I know she's not much into flowers, but they're an integral part of my plan for tonight.

XxxxxxxxxxxX

Supper has been finished and as we sit on the couch eating, she smiles with every bite she takes of her eggplant parmesan and Greek salad. When we finish I get up and clear the table, returning with a single red rose. Handing it to her, I see her smile and my heart warms immensely. She takes a sniff of it and when she opens her eyes, she nearly faints again. I've placed the ring in the centre of the petals of the rose so that she'd see it.

Her eyes begin to tear as she looks over at me and wraps her arms around my neck and through tear strained voice, whispers into my ear that she accepts my proposal. Right now, I think I'm happier than I've ever been in my life. I've got a fiancée and we're going to have a family.

I'll be a better father this time around, of that I'm certain. I've got twenty years on the job, so maybe I'll stay at home with the children. Money isn't a problem. I've got my bonds, stocks and other investments. Truth be told, neither of us HAVE to work another day if we don't want to, but knowing Sara she'd continue to work so she'd have something to occupy her time.

I never thought I could feel so much joy as I'm feeling right now. The woman I love is now my fiancée and we're on the road to family.

God, I love her so much.


End file.
